Fearless against radiation attacks

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Radiation is out of sight, out of mind—why fear it? Things like cancer or tumors are ignored until they happen. A grown man relying on a few tea leaves for protection? How embarrassing.

Bad breath? Just grab some gum

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Tea can freshen your breath and eliminate odors in a way other methods can’t match. But gum is widely known—though it lacks tea’s depth, it’s pretty and convenient. Gum isn’t elegant, meaningful, or profound, but it gets the job done.

No fear of drowsiness

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Legend says tea was invented to keep little monks awake for late-night scripture readings. But a full belly craves sleep—those monks knew nothing of life or romance. Office workers snoring at their desks don’t care about appearances, so why should I worry about nodding off? If you’re so awake and alert, why hang a "Rarely Confused" plaque on your wall?

Embrace life’s lows

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No worries about where to stay, just the freedom to leave. This carefree life beats being royalty. For you, tea cuts grease; for us, it’s contentment.

No interest in refining taste

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Tea improves aesthetic sense and cultural refinement. But I’m terrified of refining my taste. Could I still dress like a slob? Could I endure my subordinates’ work ethic? I’m actively dulling my aesthetic sense—why ruin it with tea?

Who drinks tea with party buddies?

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My friends are all about feasting and drinking. I live a life of indulgence—tea never crosses my mind. We share the good and bad, but never a cup of tea.

Low living standards

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Tea has great benefits, but my income’s too low. I’m a maximalist—no cheap tea, only vintage-grade. But right now, life’s about survival, dodging debts. Tea sounds nice, but no money? No way!

No patience for social rituals

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I don’t need to host tea sessions or be hosted. I’m too busy working to bother with tea ceremonies. All I see is profit, not propriety. I’m just a laborer—next life, maybe I’ll be a boss, sip tea, and flaunt tea-talk in high society.

No fancy teaware to brew it

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No proper teaware? No tea. First, I’d need to find worthy teaware at a tea expo. Call me stubborn or silly, but "the vessel is the father of tea"—with the right tools, the tea will come. Once I find my perfect teapot, I’ll make up for all the tea I missed.